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| In a dream that is lol |
Ok, so I finally had the infamous relaxer dream a few nights ago and well it wasn't all that terrifying. In the dream I ended up relaxing my hair myself (which is something I would never do). I texlaxed my entire head and when I was done I wanted to pee my pants because I realized that all of my relaxed hair would probably fall out due to the over-processing. Surprisingly though, I didn't get any burns and I was actually happy with the way it looked. However, in the morning I was even happier to wake up and find that my hair was still in transition mode. Or am I?
The truth is I am SICK OF TRANSITIONING!! My hair is breaking (a little), it's VERY difficult to detangle and I KNOW it's because of the relaxed portion, no style will last for more than a day and I have to manipulate it all the time to make it look halfway decent. But on the flip side, I love the way my new growth looks, I love the way my hair looks after it's styled and I love my current length. So I just can't seem to decide whether or not it's worth all the trouble to keep transitioning. I know if I BC at my one year mark 1/22/11, I will not be happy. One year's worth of new growth is just too short for me. I guess I'm still pretty hung up on length after all, because the thought of having a TWA is simply unappealing (which is completely nuts, because I love seeing it on other girls). And at the same time, I'm starting to think that it is not possible to transition for very long with my hair texture and thickness, because the relaxed and natural hair are just TOO different to exist at the same time. The youtube channels that I watch and blogs that I visit with long term transitioners with "type 4" hair are very helpful for tips and advice but they all seem to have "4a/3c" hair. I didn't realize that even though our hair looks similar or just because a girl may describe her hair the same way that I do doesn't mean that it will behave the same. I don't think they are experiencing the same type of issues that I am, because only about half of my head has the same "hair type" as theirs and the middle back portion is VERY tightly coiled and always presents problems when I want to detangle and/or style.
So I guess when I really think about it what I need to do is; stop looking at other's videos for certain tips (specifically detangling), be more patient and focus on MY hair's needs not necessarily someone else's advice. Many times when I ask for tips on the forums that I visit, people regurgitate the same info, and it simply doesn't do much for me. I've tried almost everything that's out there, so maybe it's time I just sit down patiently and focus on what my hair seems to respond to. I think I'll have to let my PJism come out again and maybe even start mixing again, because the usual way of doing things just isn't working. And maybe the techniques will work but they won't allow me to detangle in 30 minutes, maybe my hair simply takes more time to detangle. Anyway, as a result of all of this, I've decided to take a break from my hair, a real break. I plan to wear a hat to work for the next few weeks and wigs if I plan to go anywhere. No braidouts for a while, I will only try to stretch my new growth and keep my relaxed ends as tangle free as possible (hence my braidout fast). I will also try to bun on dry stretched hair a few times. However, I seriously doubt it will work, I think I can only bun my hair when it's wet but it wouldn't hurt to at least give it a try. Hopefully this break will last until my one year mark when I plan to straighten my hair. I'll keep you posted.
Until next time, deuces ; )
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