Transitioning Your Mind?

So when I first started my journey, I heard (and read) other women saying that you have to transition your mind while you are transitioning to natural hair. What??? I mean transition my mind? is it that serious? I already like the way natural hair looks on other women, what's the big deal? Geez these people need to chill, what are they even talking about? It's just hair, so there's no way I'll have to put that type of effort into it, right?

Well knock me over with a feather, turns out they were right. I've learned along the way that you will have to change your perception of what is acceptable and attractive on you. For most of us with curly, kinky, natural, nappy, etc. hair.... it will frizz and that is a fact. As a transitioner (or woman with natural hair) you have to embrace your halo of frizz, it comes with the territory. However, when you spend years of your life with pin straight relaxed (or pressed) hair, you become accustomed to perfectly smoothed down or tamed hair. If your hair isn't perfectly in place you know it's time for a touch up and feel like crap because the whole point in relaxing your hair is to make it look smooth and tame. When I was still relaxing, I would get so jealous of girls (usually the ones on TV) who never looked like they needed a touch up, but I almost always did. My hair would only lay perfectly for about three weeks. By week 4, I was in hell because my hair simply refused to lay flat and there was no way I was going to relax every four weeks, so I just suffered in silence (well actually I wasn't silent, I complained constantly). And I know I'm not the only one, because I know women who would never let their hair go for more than 4 weeks without a touch up (even though it clearly states 6-8 weeks on the box) and they would practically go into a depression if they couldn't get it done. And lets face it, for most of us if we don't like the way our hair looks we are NOT HAPPY.

Taming our hair when we were still relaxing usually equaled wrap and go, flat iron to death, or easy ponytail. Now, you can weigh your hair down with product and plaster on the gel, or continue to flat iron to death while your transitioning to re-create this look your used to, but your hair will NOT behave the same way. If you don't change the way that you think of your hair then your transition will not be successful and you will most likely go back to a relaxer or heat damage your hair to smithereens. It's not easy by any means, but over time you will learn to embrace your frizz halo and even take pride in it.

One night early on in my transition I tried to wear my hair half up and half down on an old bantu knot out, but the front wasn't laying down no matter what I did. I ended up throwing on a hat and telling myself (out loud, yes I talk to myself out loud at times lol) to accept the fact that my hair would never lay down like it used to. And don't get me wrong, that one little heart to heart didn't do the trick all on it's own, but it was a pretty good start. So the point is, in order to transition successfully you have to accept your new hair on a mental level.


I hope my rambling will shed a little light and spark a little hope in someone who is having a hard time understanding why their transition isn't going well.
Until next time, deuces ; )